The Rise of Infidelity

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It’s a situation that many couples have had to face during the course of their relationship…One partner cheats.

Infidelity is something that is becoming increasingly common. In fact, according to research by the University of Montreal, the probability that your partner may have an affair is somewhere between 40-76%.

Is the internet to blame?

One of the main contributing factors to the increase in infidelity is certainly the rise of the internet.

Factors like social media, including Facebook and Twitter where the propensity to send direct messages, means that constant and instant contact with people is all too easy.

Couple this with the rise of dating apps like Tinder and you’ve potentially got a recipe for relationship troubles.

Now don’t get me wrong, dating apps and social media don’t necessarily make people cheat, but their ease of use and their wide availability does make it easier to do so.

If you’re facing that situation, or your intuition is telling you to be aware then here’s how to handle the worst case scenario.

The end of the affair.

You’ve found out that your significant other has cheated on you.

How are you supposed to react?

If the affair has come to a natural end, there is bound to be a huge degree of bitterness and resentment on the side of the partner who has found out about the adultery. After all, their whole world has been shattered, and the other person has to not only cope with what they’ve done, but try and find some way to restore their relationship (if they can still want to.)

Infidelity can be dealt with in these three steps:

Step one: This stage in the process is filled with strong emotions – anything from anger, bitterness, and resentment to periods of introspection, self-blame and even appreciation and acknowledgment of what the relationship with your spouse means to you and if you can deal with the issue at hand.

Step two: This period deals less with emotions, and it features the cheated-on spouse trying to understand why the other person cheated. It may feature periods of constantly going over details of the affair. They may retreat physically and emotionally from their spouse and reach out to family and friends for help.

Step three: Mainly relates to couples who want to stay together and work their relationship out.

When infidelity has taken place, and both parties feel ready to re-establish their connection, to an extent it’s fair to say that neither party wants to take responsibility.

Often both halves of the relationship view each other as being selfish, and see themselves as having put their hearts on the line with absolutely zero to show for it.

Why should one half of the partnership say sorry for something that was someone else’s fault in the first place?

Recognize that recovery from infidelity is a lengthy process and an overnight relationship repair won’t happen.

Rebuilding trust is key, but it need not all be negative. Sometimes, when one partner cheats it can be a wake up call, the relationship needs as crazy as that sounds.

Channels of communication should always be left open, and discussions never avoided.

Sometimes relationship counseling can help, with both parties being offered the chance to talk to an open minded, impartial third party, who can mediate between the couple to help sort out long standing issues and problems which may have contributed towards the infidelity in the first place.

Reality is that a relationship can survive infidelity if both partners are committed to making it work and the partner that strayed rededicates themselves to the relationship.

Written by Derrick Allen

WO-Manipulate: Ways to Dominate Your Man Without Him Knowing It

Come on now. We all know who controls this relationship...

Come on now. We all know who controls this relationship...

Insinuate
Dogs bark. Barks are threatening. When people see threats, they run. Don’t bark.

Men don’t like to be given orders, they might follow them, but they don’t like them. Every human being has some deviance in them. They want to break rules or not accept barks/orders, so to counter this behavior you insinuate. Insinuation is a technique of easing what you want. People are more accepting to ideas that are persuasive. Even the word persuasive is indicative of its gesture because it’s a nudge. It’s like the spooning nudge that a woman gets in the middle of the night for some action. No man is gonna say at 3 o’clock in the morning bluntly “Can we f*ck?” Nope, they wouldn’t say that because it’s disrespectful — because it is an order. They would rather poke you a few times and kiss on your neck to get their point across.

No one wants to be thrown in a pool, they would rather dip their foot in the water to see how cold or warm it is. Therefore, like water, adjust things to your partners liking before you blatantly demand them. And I promise you, he will do what you asked of him quicker and more willingly.

Side note: This is subject to backfire if your man doesn’t like you not being straight-forward, but it is up to you to feel the situation out.

Seduce
Out of all these rules seduction is the most effective, full-proof, and easiest way to manipulate men. Women seduce everyday without knowing, usually by just being themselves. Women are seductive like smooth music, the scent of great food, and mesmerizing sights. To seduce him; be soft, intoxicating, alluring. Men cannot really resist a woman unless she comes off conniving or trifling. But I assume you two are in a loving and caring relationship, and in which case you’ll have him wrapped around your finger like morning floss.

Be Interdependent, Rather than Ms. Independent or a Dependant
This means that even though you’re independent, you still stress that you need him too. It also means even though you need him, you have things other than him that hold your attention. You need a balance of both of these. If you have hobbies or interest that you are focused on this is sexy and the distance allows him to be fond of you. Men love women with drive, women that don’t cling like a nappy hair to a knitted sweater. Being free and setting aside time for yourself sets you apart.

Punish, Forgive, and Request
If he’s ever messed up, punish him; don’t talk to him for a few days, don’t let him grab that booty, show your true emotions. Then quickly get over it as if nothing happened. This will put him in a state of suspense saying, “Are you ok, what changed since yesterday (or whatever the time frame was)?” This will catch him off guard and make him wonder more than Stevie. Finally, you must request. The reason why you submit your request is because he doesn’t want to put you back in that prior state you were in. He will then want to appease your desires.

In conclusion, in no way, shape, or form should you let these techniques dominate your relationship. Do what works for the both of you. There is no one-way to love or to be loved, everyone has differences. This was just some advice on understanding the male psyche, male wants, and why these techniques might work better for you.

-TheSunk.com

Questions For The Fellas 4

WHO COMES FIRST, YOUR MOM OR YOUR WIFE?

WHO COMES FIRST, YOUR MOM OR YOUR WIFE?

melgenaeI couldn't be with anyone who says their mom....

coachjohnholley@melgenae you know what I heard the most "you only get one mom..."

melgenae@coachjohnholley That's very true but that doesn't mean you put her before your spouse. They need to review the "leave your home, cling to spouse...." scripture. I can't respect a man who doesn't put his spouse first. I would constantly be thinking "who else comes before me?"

shashafiercenj@coachjohnholley If you take care of home and honor your wife like your Mom you'd only have one wife too...

curly_girl73Wife comes first you respect and honor mom. If both are treated with respect there should be no issues

bobbiekingsburyI'm not a fella but I'm opinionated so here's my two cents: I had a husband that was attached to his mother at the apron strings. At first I totally respected his close ties, but she was disrespectful to me as a wife and he never stuck up for me or defended me. She was invasive in our marriage. She's half the reason we are divorced. I have an older son who is in a serious relationship and you know what? I stay the hell out of it. I know he loves and respects me - but he's making a life and a family with this girl. She comes first and I'm not insecure about it. I love him and support him and don't bud into their business. As a mother I've raised good men who don't need to put me first once they're out of my home. Put your lady first. Mom will always be there. It's not a competition and if it is, that's whack.

com_scholarIf either of them have to question who comes first they are both bugging. It should be understood that the relationships are both different yet very important.

coachjohnholley@melgenae at the same time tho, the guys who said "only one mom" weren't married... I got a feeling a lot then will eventually change their minds

lilli2379I'm not a fella. But depending on the situation I'm ok if he pick his mother @coachjohnholley

melgenae@coachjohnholley probably so. I'm not married either...maybe I should shut up lol

coachjohnholleyHaha one of my boys just said "HOW HOT IS MY WIFE?"

youngmatureoneThe bible states put your wife before all

q_ashley23Happy wife happy life

coachjohnholley@lilli2379 yeaha lot of guys are saying depends

ms.so_complicated86Wife..."Leave to cleave..." Genesis 2:24

ms.so_complicated86My parents had this issue early on in their marriage with my maternal grandmother being too involved and my mother had to respectfully put her in her place and put my father first.

rjgue851@coachjohnholley Mom will always be the only woman that has your back thru thick and thin. Even a loyal woman can get sick of you..its instinct for a mom to have their child's back. Just don't let mom get in between.